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Do not compare your child’s achievements with those of other children


I am sharing one interesting piece of writing from the book –Teach Your Children Well. This book has tons and tons of parenting information. Teachers can also get plenty of good material. The puzzle like why Tashi outperforms Pema in math tests is overly solved through examples and case study. A very book for all of us.

Kids this age are making comparisons in earnest and they make them about everything, most especially academic performance, athletic ability and popularity. This opens the door for a few high-performing kids to feel really good and many more to feel bad.

Teachers and parents both intentionally and unintentionally make comparisons between a child and classmates, siblings, peers and other family members. Your brother got all A’s, why can't you? If you don’t keep up in math, you and your best friend, Tashi, won't be in the same math group anymore.  

Pema and Tshering seem to have such nice friends. Couldn't you try a little harder to be friendlier?

While these kinds of comparisons are hurtful, kids often say they feel the worst when their parents look disappointed, angry or sad. Kids are exquisitely tuned to their parents' emotions and if they are disappointed that your child can't hit all the balls, wasn’t invited to the popular girl's sleepover, or isn't in the top reading group then your look is enough to tell them that they don’t measure up.

When you have just begun the process of learning a world of new things, the best medicine is encouragement and positive reinforcement. Applaud effort and improvement.   

While it's fine to acknowledge that another child excels at something, let your own children know that you love them whether they bat first, fourth or last.

Happy Reading!

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