The Innocence

 

Mom, Yesha & Reden

Mom & Reden

I recently found these photos on my wife's phone that deeply touched me. They stirred up powerful emotions of longing and innocence, and I couldn't help but was overwhelmed by how much I missed them. 

The images brought tears to my eyes and an intense ache in my heart. It’s heartbreaking to see this captured in the photos, and I can only hope that no other parents or young children have to experience this kind of separation.

My heart aches for my two beautiful kids, who are so far away from us. I feel an immense sense of sorrow for what they are missing out on and for the distance that keeps us apart.

There's nothing more heartwarming than video chatting with our children, who are thousands of miles away, made possible by the incredible advancements in technology and the power of the Internet. It allows us to see and speak with them whenever we want, maintaining our bond despite being separated for over a year.

We deeply regret the time we have lost as parents. There's so much love and emotion we wish to share with our wonderful children, who are currently in the care of my brother, sister-in-law, and our elderly parents.

Each time we connect with them, we are filled with joy and a sense of closeness. Yet, it’s accompanied by the profound sorrow of being apart during a time when they need us most. Seeing them, while brings happiness, also fills us with immense sadness.

One day in the future, as they grow older and begin to find their place in the world, and start to move forward in their own lives, I am quite sure at some point, they will look back and realize how much they have missed us, and perhaps see the selfish part of us. 

When that moment comes, we can only say we are sorry, and make a statement that our choices were made with the best intentions—to ensure a secure future for all of us, and most importantly, to provide them with a comfortable future and education journey with ease and comfort.

Though our hearts ache deeply for them, and their innocence is obvious, each passing second without them makes us feel their absence even more. We long to hold them close in our arms, and share the joy of our family moments.

We eagerly anticipate the perfect moment to reunite with our children, hoping that we shall win the race over time and be with them,,, SOON! Until then, we find comfort in knowing they are safe and well cared for.

To A Beloved Lady

To My 

Wife,

Sometimes, I'm not in the best of moods or conditions.

I talk less.

I work less.

I share less.

I express less.

 

I know...

It hurts you and others in the family.

It gives you cause for concern.

It burdens you.

It frustrates you.

PLEASE know that...

I'm always here for you and the family, no matter my situation.

Please accept me as I am!

Thank you for understanding 

and

 giving me another day to work through my hard times. 

I will return in a good mood on other days...

Her Dream

Source: Video Clip (Tiktok)

Like anyone, my wife has a dream. Indeed, a beautiful dream. As much as it is beautiful, it is an expensive one. Perhaps, there is nothing wrong with dreaming, after all a dream is a dream. 

 

Lately, she sent me a short clip of her dream house in a messenger chat. It's a beautiful Mansion of one of the Bollywood stars. It just blew off my mind. How on earth do people have such an amazing idea and a lifestyle? It's simply an engineering marvel. How others live life is our wish -would someday be possible for us to live just as our wish?  Anyway, I felt pity for my wife. 

 

As I watched the whole clip, many things ran down my mind. One time I felt sad because I was born in a working-class family, not so rich to afford to live like the rich do. On the other hand, I was optimistic because I got to learn many things from this kind of simple lifestyle, which is so natural and beautiful. As I know life is not just about money, luxury, and power. It is more of living wholeheartedly. 

 

In between I am equally petrified because it seems unlikely to build our dream house in a lifetime with the level of earning we are making. However, I remain footed to challenge and give her a home someday.

 

As I made two bold submissions, we almost ended up in a fist-fight battle of discussion, nonetheless, we decided to pursue her dream together. We promised to start saving and build a home for us, together. 

The first point was, "Learn to save". She understood differently. The intended purpose of my message was wrongly conceived. I mean we must make an effort to save a little of whatever amount we earn. Small savings is all it takes to earn a million-dollar home. It is the saving habit that takes away or makes us near to fulfilling all our wishes. One thing is certain, she was badly offended for not having a saving habit. I don't mean it that way. It's not just her, almost all of us, Bhutanese have poor saving habits that are making us poor every day, that is costing us every day in our affairs. Most importantly, it will cost us in the future. 

The point is whatever we earn, all our earning goes on shopping clothes, shoes, home stuff, a car and for fun. I don't mean, one needs to be too stingy, and starving, and start saving all. I mean, if we make a habit of saving at least a quarter of our earnings, someday, not far from today, we can fulfill all our wishes, and we can easily have our dream house, dream car, dream lifestyle, and everything. Therefore, the point is, let us start saving today even if it is a penny. This can surely take us a long and to a beautiful and secure future.

 

The second point was, "We need to make multiple sources of income". But how? Any amount, daily, weekly, monthly, or yearly, both big or tiny, it's essential to build a multiple source of income if we want to grow financially rich. Today, I can see a lot of opportunities to earn easy money through social media, IT, trading, business, writing, photography, and running a cab to name a few.  

 

However, to give my wife her dream house, I'm thinking of winning a million-dollar jackpot, or robbing a few billionaires. (***Joke aside***). I'm sure like my wife, everyone has a dream of having a simple house, if not a luxury mansion, or duplex, or a bungalow like a fortunate one. 

The two of us seemingly agreed to support and cooperate from today until we settled down with our own house. We promised to start small savings and look for every possibility to make a multiple income source. It takes two hands to get a beautiful sound, likewise, it takes both of our dedication, commitment and hardship to build a so-called house to home for a family. 

I'm sure this journey of ours would be worth remembering and cherishing. May we have a house called home someday in future? 

 

  

 

 

Looking Back to My Radio Days

My parent had in black color 
90's model or early 2000's

source: google

Today, as I recall back to my childhood days of 2002-3, it gives me some melancholic feelings of listening to 2PM "Live Call in Show" hosted by, Ugyen Tshering Nagadik and Sharpem Sherpa.

Back then, radio used to be one of the biggest pride and possessions, means of information and entertainment. In the midst of day's meal my family briefly catches the 10AM Lhotsham (Nepali) bulletin and a few songs before heading into afternoon works.

With technologies in its best form, the existence of close-knit family culture and unity is in the verge of extinction. All we can do now is, keep those memories hiding inside and move on with life. 

Fast-forward, many years have elapsed and the voices of my radio still echoes inside me, but just in hope. Today, whenever I'm driving I prefer FM Radio to pools of stored songs. 

Today, I listened to the same talk show from a younger generation of hosts by name, Tshering Wangmo and others. Like the old hosts, they keep the show going forward by being–so lively and eloquent, but not much of the old songs are being on the playlist and on request from callers, signaling the taste in music has gone far to hip-hop, love songs, et al.

I used to thoroughly enjoy the radio show with unflattering energy and spirit. One thing that gripped me so much is the politeness of the hosts. I wish we had such services in daily affairs, business, and in offices. Today, embarking into a sophisticated world of technologies is only making our lives more difficult to be that old community and losing the edge of humanness is everyone's guess. 

The first English song I listened to was "Whisky in the Jar" by Metallica. This song used to be one of the most requested and heavily played songs in those days and one of my favourites too. Not so sure, how many callers have known the meaning of the song, but to me it's nothing more than the title of the song and the singer, raspy voice and few heavy metal echoes. 

Today, with access to a limitless platform, I took advantage of the Internet and my self-containment mode mood, I hooked up reminiscing about my young days, giving me ample space to find the meaning of the song I listened to. 

Whisky in the Jar is an Irish tale-song of a highwayman who was betrayed by his lover and sung by The Dubliners folk band in 1962. The song is one of the oldest and most loved songs probably originated in the mid-17th century and has dozens of forms. However, Metallica, an American heavy metal band had made this song to another generation of rock fans with their version in 1998.

Music is something that everyone loves to listen to and be with. It has the power to connect, calm and reconnect old memories of a person, and forgone days. Music has the power to heal and help overcome life difficulties. It consoles the heart and soul, and makes you forget everything. 

 

I wish I'd the Panday's voice and Udit's melody, Richard's vocal and Dylan's composition. These are the voices I grew up listening to and they made me a whole different person -strong, wise and sensible, altogether. 

 

There is no denying that my taste in music has not changed much, both old and classic still hold a special place in my heart, and it's all to that sweet little radio that has shaped my taste in the world of music. 

 

 

Drawing My Family Tree

I decided to sacrifice a few Sundays to sit face-to-face with my father to discuss and list down on our family tree. It came into my mind a long time ago. But every time I have the mood, either my father is away, or I have some other work. This time I had the perfect coincidence –I had my father by my side and I was free. 

It was a tough battle to track down and put them into the correct order and sequence. Despite grueling hours of sitting with my father, unlearning and relearning past history, it was quite challenging to recall some names of some past generations who were lost long ago. Simply, few names couldn't be traced at all. We left it for some other occasions. I want to discuss the missing names and lineage with one of my cousins who has some ideas and background on one fine day. I also expect some other family members would definitely help us add and trace down a few missing names in future, as I would keep adding to the list.

 

Total Family Lineage of Dilumpa Rai [https://www.familyecho.com]

I felt sorry for my unschooled father to whom I had to quiz him like a criminal. I briefed him about my small work to sort out the relationship and draw some images of my great great grandfather. So that his grandchild and other future generations won’t have to suffer in identifying their past and bloodline, which is obviously going to become more complex and forgotten.

 

With all the information carefully arranged and drafted, I am sure this family timeline that I have drawn would someday be useful for all of us. Through this work of mine, I am sure that they would know the relation and order –who is who? And more importantly, when I grow old, I shall proudly recall and look back that I have done some outstanding work to plot a family tree. 

 

Embarking on a family tree assignment is exciting but equally tasking which requires good oral information and documents. Throughout the process, my father, whom I always consider a man rich in oral history, is the backbone in shaping this present form. 

I was sensitive and careful throughout the sitting with my father. If I wasn’t sure, I had redirected the questions and asked him again and again. I made sure the family tree is correct and precise. For missing names and sequence, I shall give more depth and color during some other time.

 

Concentrating on my great great grandfather line

Through this work, I could connect to many of my unknown cousins who live in different parts of the country –Gelephu and Daifarm. Dhansiri and Manaytar. Maley and Moaugang. I could find new ways to reconnect with them. It wasn't a waste of time and resources. My time and effort has created an indelible impression on my family members and perched an open link in the blood relation about the past, present and future generations.

As the discussion progressed, I knew which generation of my great-grandfather had exactly set foot in this land, the first ancestral lands and settlements. One point of our discussion was massively interesting but so critical, why my great-grandfather entered Bhutan and directly went to settle in the extreme corner of Tsirang, into the valley of Dodomchen. My great grandfather has settled into a virgin forest on the Burichu River bank. The place is rich in wild animals, fruits, vegetables and berries, fish and water. 

Why didn't they settle around Thimphu Valley, Paro Valley, Phuntsholing Valley and Gelephu valley? [Story in some other fine mood]

It could be probably, he was a crazy non-veg guy and into hunting. One thing was clear that most of my great-grandparents have never been to schooling. That was so sad. Although few had their non-formal education, they didn’t reach far in school. Most of them remain behind for farm work, herding animals and contributing labors. It was interesting to learn that most of the family members seem active and progressive since each line has at least five, or six children. It was evident even from the present generation that each branch has a minimum of five grandchildren. It was as high as eleven children. But, coming to the present generation, the clock has reversed and I am worried someday some line will become extinct. 

 

Link to my grandfather line

I was crystal clear on three critical branches in our family lineage. First the link between Hasta Dal Rai, Jantaray link [missing proper name] and Chakra Dhoj Rai. I came to know how we are different now. Second, I came to know the real father of my great-grandfather "Deekpal Rai" and his brother "Prethi Dhoj Rai" and his bloodline. Third, I came to know how "Bhopal Rai" and "Purna Bdr Rai" are related as first cousins. They all are the surviving first cousins whom we considered as very close.  

This family tree will serve as the soft tool to remind us and pave the way forward. I couldn’t include all the names of the grandchildren and others as it was overly populated and more. Someday, I would make a point to detail it out and share with some important family members.

 

This will remain and occupy a special place in my heart and hopefully to other family members and my kids. I want to frame it and put it on the wall. My kids must know their roots and bloodline.