It was 7th of June, when my better–half left for
her official outing to Bangkok. I was compelled to be an acting mother to my
little baby girl.
Initially, I was bit
worried about how shall I keep her happy, and my other worry was to manage her
in the night–board. Perhaps, with finger crossed I hate night
approaching. I wish night to be the shortest or else no night at all.
During the day, I can make
her happy and laze her in many ways by taking her outside in the sun and in the
rain. I can take her to drive and buy her favorite chips. With all these
thoughts first night have approached sooner than expected, but wasn't
troublesome as anticipated. She slept peacefully with occasional break through.
But I have doped her with some milk and with her favorite nursery
rhymes.
For young kids, I know what
it is to be without a mother. First few nights was completely a heart pinching nights for three of us? When she cried, I felt the weight of thousand nailing over my head both physically and mentally. It is not as easy as you see to manage, handle and understand innocent
kids. They don't understand your feelings and vice versa.
Few years back I used get
annoyed with neighbor's child nagging and crying needlessly. Now I am married,
and had my own baby. I feel the difference. I started to love kids. I finally realized every kids are perfectly same despite
caste and creed, rich and poor, so treat them same.
I have one of my
blonde–faced cousin who hate kids more than anyone. I saw him throwing pots and
pans to his brother's kids few years back. He got married past some years. He now have two beautiful babies. Perhaps, he became world–class
father. Now he does all kinds of baby keeping –he cooks for them and happily put them
into sleep.
My little baby girl is a
very peaceful girl. She hardly cry and nags. Occluded within her body is her
damnless face. But she is such a loving girl. You all would love to hold her.
But for past few days, I
observed some change in her. She became more serious. She became the new boss. Although, I am
experiencing quite unhealthy nights but I am also equally learning so many lessons from her as a parent and a father.
One strange thing is that,
I have to repeatedly play her nursery rhymes even in the late mid–night and
early morning. I am afraid what my neighbors or passerby may think of me. These
days my room was completely flooded with the repeated rhymes sounds –'daddy
fingers, heads and shoulders, and baa baa black sheep, etc...' Such odd hour's
culture is something very strange for newlywed’s couple.
My worries is not only to
put her into sleep but also her sickness in her mom's absence. I always pray
for her good health and sound sleep. Indeed nothing have worried me like this
before.
Nothing has come to me as
hard as this moment. I have to do everything to make her happy, –I often have
to walk like a cat, sing her song like a superstar and have to dance in
the middle of the night. I fear how my father would have duped me into sleep
during those days when light and nursery rhymes were absolutely rare.
Although, with time and
space everything have settled so well, but I am much worried about her
emotional growth and emotional detachment. One good thing I have learnt from
this moment is that she taught me to be more patient, funny and serious.
I don't understand how some
mothers can leave their child to be with another man. I also wonder how some
well–educated parents can abandoned their baby to go abroad. With week–long
practical on experience, I give up the idea of Australia Dream completely if I
have to leave my baby girl behind.
I say undeniably NO to
Australia journey until my girl turn five or six or not at ALL!
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